There are so many different definitions I have heard from people regarding cheating, I hardly know where to start. Let’s at the least take a look at some of the more common definitions I have heard over the years. I’m sure some will seem very familiar, and others may surprise you as well.
First I must say, in my experience men and women don’t seem to be on the same page when it comes to what constitutes cheating. Men seem to be a lot more liberal than women. Case in point, a man often times feels like flirting is perfectly fine, whether they’re married or just dating. On the other hand I have not heard very many women think flirting is okay in any kind of committed relationship.
To most women I have talked to over the years, this is a form of cheating. Their stance is don’t light a match unless you want to start a fire. A man’s view seems to be, I may be married, but I’m not dead. How many times have you heard that one? Exactly, too many times to count!
When it comes to emotional feelings, women seem to believe that any kind of emotional intimacy with someone else is definitely in the category of cheating. On the other hand most men only see having sex with another woman as cheating. What men don’t seem to understand about women is, whether it’s emotional or sexual, it’s cheating because it’s with someone other than the person you are committed to.
If a woman catches her man kissing someone else, it’s cheating. The man’s view is, it was just a kiss. So, I’m beginning to think for everything I have heard over the years, that if men have intercourse it’s cheating, and if a woman even sees her man looking at another woman, he is cheating. Wow, that’s one big gap in the relationship department.
When couples sometimes separate for a while to clear their heads, this is another time when agreements on whether one is cheating or not differ. Women seem to think just because we’re separated doesn’t mean it’s not cheating to have sex with someone else. Their feelings seem to be if you really still love me you wouldn’t want to have sex with someone else. Men on the other hand seem to take this as an opportunity to graze in other pastures, all the while believing it’s okay, we’re not together anymore. Unfortunately this can cause a lot of problems down the road, when the couple tries to get back together.
So, is there any kind of rational answer to all of this? Probably not. Although things and people are changing, there may always be some kind of gap between the two. Yes, men are becoming more sensitive, and women are becoming more assertive in having their equality with men, but it may take many more years for them to meet somewhere in the agreeable middle.
*Always remember, know matter what your definition of cheating is, it’s never a positive force in a committed relationship. The best thing you could ever do for your relationship is to talk about your feelings, and expectations for the relationship. Even if you don’t 100% agree on what cheating is, the open communication you have with each other could make for a long and happy life together!