To be loved unconditionally is the ultimate gift; but, when it comes down to it, is anyone ever really loved unconditionally? No matter what love means to you, no matter which forms you have felt it, you know it’s not simply turned on or off with a switch. I have pondered the idea of whether unconditional love is real (forgetting the social stigmas of marriage, divorce, children, sex and ignoring the different forms of love found in a married couple compared to a mother and child) and am now offering my logic and answer.
Loving unconditionally means nothing the person you love can say, do, think, or feel will stop you from loving them. Absolute no conditions need to be met for two people to continue to love one another. The problem with this “unconditional love” arises when you’ve given so much of yourself that you’ve lost who you truly are. If the relationship becomes battered, bruised, and broken for whatever reason regardless of fault, relying on this unconditional love will create suffering.
If and when the people give up on each other, the “condition” that changed their love doesn’t negate the “unconditional” promise—it simply means that in spite of the unforeseen, they still love each other. In a certain sense, there is no such thing as “unconditional” because everything in life has some condition to it.
It’s not love that requires giving, taking, and compromise. It’s happiness. There’s a point where enough is enough and reaching this point is not an indication of failure. It’s not love itself that takes work, it’s the balance, maintenance, and expression of all the emotions and events in life that need work–in order to fuel the love. When the fuel stops, the love doesn’t stop, it changes. Other emotions may take precedence at times, but no matter how hard a person tries to make it disappear, the love will always be there.
So, my answer is…all emotions other than love, are conditional. These emotions are conditional because experiences that create them are subjective, shaping who we were, who we are, and what we will be. Though different kinds of love exist and change, once love is felt it doesn’t go anywhere.
My definition of unconditional love is a love that changes according to the things that happen in life. A love worth fighting for, but one that will not create more harm than good. It will not stop, but it is not subject to remain at the same intensity at all times. It evolves and manifests in various ways and with many people. This is why love mystifies, stupefies, hurts, and amazes. This is why people search and yearn for it. It’s the very reason I wrote this piece.